Hollywood Is My Hood

Famous People Are Just More Interesting

Top 10 Most Annoying Celebrities of 2009 December 29, 2009

10.  Tom Cruise – I can’t help but roll my eyes when I read or see anything related to Tom Cruise. Perhaps it’s the fact that I truly believe he has his wife Katie Holmes under some sort of Scientology-related spell, or that he apparently just set aside $75 million for his next child, when I think of Tom Cruise, I immediately think obnoxious. He’s only #10 because he managed to reproduce one of the most beautiful Hollywood offspring ever. Tom, Suri just saved your ass.

9. Perez Hilton – My my Perez, you’ve become quite the hypocrite. You bash Isaiah Washington (Dr. Burke on “Grey’s Anatomy”) for calling his co-star a “faggot.” Okay, fine. But then you posted that ridiculous video accusing will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas of punching you, when it was really someone else. You then called him a “faggot” and never even apologized when you found out it wasn’t him. But what really pisses me off is the fact that you have NO boundaries whatsoever. With the recent passing of actress Brittany Murphy, you let that fat mouth of yours run wild. You publicly berated her to no end when she was alive, then have the audacity to kiss ass by offering your condolences to her family and acting sad and shocked, all the while insisting that her death was the result of drugs. If it was, that’s a private matter. But who the hell are you to make such a strong assumption? Oh, and not to mention that since you’ve found “fame,” you’ve hired three ghost writers to update your site… three people who can’t seem to spell anything correctly.

8. Taylor Lautner – The first of two “Twilight” stars to make this list, I’m convinced Taylor Lautner’s only famous because he has a sick six pack. Sorry tweens, but it’s true. He has nothing to offer but a pretty face. And don’t even get me started on his hosting gig on “Saturday Night Live.” He can’t act for shit.

7. Tiger Woods – Obviously Tiger Woods wouldn’t be on this list had it not been for his recent… indiscretions. The whole situation is way too overexposed, from the headlines to the number of hookers (sorry, it’s true) that have come out claiming they’ve slept with the golf pro, it’s just like “Whoa, enough already!” I was sick of caring after Day 3. I don’t care that his ship is still docked. I don’t care that he’s losing endorsements. I mean, we’re talking about a golf player here. It’s not like it’s a football player or anyone important. Just kidding. Kind of.

6. Lindsay Lohan – Poor Lindsay. She’s the butt of every joke, so much so that it’s kind of a right of passage to put her on any list like this.  From her shiteous TV movie “Labor Pains” that was supposed to be released on the big screen, to her disastrous attempt at working as a fashion designer with the Ungaro collection, all signs are pointing to “FAIL.” Why would I want to wear anything Lindsay Lohan designs when she looks like a coked up addict all the time?

5. Speidi – Oh my God, if I ever saw Spencer Pratt on the street I think I’d hit him. And I’m not even lying. His blondeness scares me, especially when he rocks that God awful beard thing. And Heidi Montag-Pratt, who was once so sweet, has turned into a legitimate moron. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed someone so stupid. Ever. But I think Heidi is a product of “Cruise Syndrome,” where her husband controls everything about her a la Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. The only reason they’re only # 5 is because Spencer is frickin hilarious on “The Hills.” He may be a huge asshole, but at least he’s a funny asshole. But I also can’t help but side with Spencer with wanting to get a vasectomy. Maybe what the Mayans predicted in 2012 was the spawn of Speidi, because I’m pretty sure everyone in Hollywood would run for the hills. No pun intended.

4. Jon Gosselin – He really REALLY pisses me off. I don’t know if it’s those huge cubic zirconia’s he’s wearing in his ears or that he’s still wearing Ed Hardy t-shirts, but holy shit is this father of eight annoying! He suddenly shuts down production on his show when TLC decided they wouldn’t feature him as often and he’s constantly roaming around places like Las Vegas and Los Angeles with a flock of girls surrounding him. Hasn’t he learned to keep it in his pants eight kids ago? And get off of my TV screen and go support the football team you have at home, you jackass.

3. Rihanna – I’m sick of people sticking up for Rihanna because Chris Brown hit her. Didn’t she throw the first punch anyway? Okay, I’m not promoting or condoning domestic violence, but it seems to me that RiRi is making a buck off of this bullshit. And she finally decides to go on “20/20” to talk about the incident the week her craptastic album is released? Coincidence? Don’t think so. But the real problem is the fact that she’s not even talented. This chick can’t sing, I mean really. And her songs are equally awful. But it’s like “Ohhh, because she’s BFF with Jay-Z and Kanye she must be the next Great One.” Nah. Stop shoving her in my face. And there’s nothing I hate more than when people try so hard to be different. Stop with the hair changing and absurd clothing choices. No one’s buying your shtick.

2. Kristen Stewart – Why is she an actress? Seriously. Kristen Stewart is the most ungrateful witch in the industry, and I’m being nice. She has zero personality, has the most obnoxious, monotone voice, and can only crack a smile when Rob Pattinson is around (who’s fug too, by the way). “Twilight” is crap, plain and simple. The books were so-so to begin with, and now Twi-hards are going buck wild over this chick as Bella in a bunch of films that suck.  And I swear, if she bites her lip one more time, in one more movie role, I’m going to write to someone.

1. Taylor Swift – Some may agree with me on this. Or I may lose friends over this choice for the #1 Most Annoying Celebrity, but I stand by my decision. Ugh, Taylor Swift. I give her props for being a decent songwriter at the tender age of 20. Her songs are catchy and pretty well written, but she can’t perform live for shit. She’s pitchy and never on key most of the time, so the fact that she’s winning these Entertainer of the Year awards and being nominated for Best Female Performer of the Year is enough to make me wanna vom. And she’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE! On TV, magazines, the internet. Stop crying over boys in your songs and start writing about something more meaningful… like how long it takes to straighten your hair and that’s why you always wear it curly like a five-year-old. And what makes me even more mad is that people like her because she’s the “anti-Miley.” At least Miley sluts it up once in a while. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t have a wild side at 20-years-old.

 

More Heidi and Spencer Crap… November 27, 2008

Filed under: Heidi Montag,Spencer Pratt — Alexandra @ 1:01 am

heidi-and-spencer

So while Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were busy getting married in Mexico, MTV was there filming it all for an episode of The Hills..

Conveeeeenient.

“MTV is currently filming Heidi and Spencer in Mexico, as we were expecting to capture them on vacation,” the show’s executive producer, Liz Gateley, tells MTV. “Fans will be able to see the exclusive footage from the ceremony in an upcoming episode, and we will continue to follow the newlyweds’ relationship as it plays out in real life.”

Uh huh.

And what about the fact that, according to the laws in Mexico, a couple must go through a whole mess of crap (including blood tests and paperwork) in order for the marriage to be legit internationally.

So is Speidi legally married? Who the hell cares knows? Perhaps they just set up a nifty photo op for Us Weekly.

 

Heidi and Spencer Elope! November 24, 2008

Filed under: Couples,Heidi Montag,Spencer Pratt,Wedding Bells — Alexandra @ 10:04 pm

heidi-and-spencer-married-us-weekly

Ugh, they’re a pair of idiots. And they get on my last damn nerve.

Famewhores Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of The Hills got married in Vegas Mexico. “The minute we said our vows, I couldn’t stop crying,” said Heidi to Us Weekly – which, by the way, features the duo on the cover of their next issue (see pic above, duh). UM. HOW DO THEY GET THIS SHIT SO FAST?!

For those who are interested, here are the details of the “wedding.” They wed at the One & Only Palmilla Resort, just outside Cabo San Lucas, and the ceremony (which wasn’t planned) was held on the beach.

The couple were actually on vacation in Mexico when they decided to marry on a whim. Yea right, which is why Us Weekly was probably (and conveniently) there at the ceremony in order to make it a cover story.

No family members present for the ceremony, which lasted only 15 minutes. However, lots of people sure had a lot to say about the nuptials.

  • Spencer’s sister, Stephanie Pratt told In Touch Weekly, “I am not surprised! I knew they would, and Cabo is definitely where they would do it.”
  • Heidi’s dad Bill told People, “I would be upset if she got married and didn’t invite me!” And when asked what would happen if the rumors were true, he said, “Then we just have to have another wedding here!”
  • Even Audrina Patridge spoke about the news, saying, “I’m so happy for them! When we all hang out, those two cannot keep their hands off each other. They are so in love and have stuck by each others side. I can’t wait to see pictures!”

The nauseating couple even released the VOWS they said to each other at the ceremony. Uh, barf! Who the hells releases their wedding vows?! Stupid.

Spencer’s vows: “Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I’m honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.”

Heidi’s vows: “From the moment I met you, I knew I wanted to marry you. I never knew love existed like this. You have opened my eyes and shown me a new world. Every moment with you is magical and amazing. You are truly my prince charming and dream guy. I love you with all my heart and soul and promise to be the best wife to you every day for the rest of our lives. I can’t wait to see what life brings us. I will always be by your side!”

Someone who’s definitely NOT thrilled about their sudden rush to the altar is Heidi’s mom, who has made it very clear that she’s not Spencer’s biggest fan:

“I called her right before the ceremony, sort of hinted that something that happened, but her reaction was to ask me if we were breaking up! I told her it might be something else, and she said, ‘Well, if you ever plan on getting married just know that your stepdad is really upset that you want your father to walk you down the aisle,'” Heidi tells Us Weekly.

Pick up the new issue of Us Weekly on Wednesday for more details on the wedding.