10. Tom Cruise – I can’t help but roll my eyes when I read or see anything related to Tom Cruise. Perhaps it’s the fact that I truly believe he has his wife Katie Holmes under some sort of Scientology-related spell, or that he apparently just set aside $75 million for his next child, when I think of Tom Cruise, I immediately think obnoxious. He’s only #10 because he managed to reproduce one of the most beautiful Hollywood offspring ever. Tom, Suri just saved your ass.
9. Perez Hilton – My my Perez, you’ve become quite the hypocrite. You bash Isaiah Washington (Dr. Burke on “Grey’s Anatomy”) for calling his co-star a “faggot.” Okay, fine. But then you posted that ridiculous video accusing will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas of punching you, when it was really someone else. You then called him a “faggot” and never even apologized when you found out it wasn’t him. But what really pisses me off is the fact that you have NO boundaries whatsoever. With the recent passing of actress Brittany Murphy, you let that fat mouth of yours run wild. You publicly berated her to no end when she was alive, then have the audacity to kiss ass by offering your condolences to her family and acting sad and shocked, all the while insisting that her death was the result of drugs. If it was, that’s a private matter. But who the hell are you to make such a strong assumption? Oh, and not to mention that since you’ve found “fame,” you’ve hired three ghost writers to update your site… three people who can’t seem to spell anything correctly.
8. Taylor Lautner – The first of two “Twilight” stars to make this list, I’m convinced Taylor Lautner’s only famous because he has a sick six pack. Sorry tweens, but it’s true. He has nothing to offer but a pretty face. And don’t even get me started on his hosting gig on “Saturday Night Live.” He can’t act for shit.
7. Tiger Woods – Obviously Tiger Woods wouldn’t be on this list had it not been for his recent… indiscretions. The whole situation is way too overexposed, from the headlines to the number of hookers (sorry, it’s true) that have come out claiming they’ve slept with the golf pro, it’s just like “Whoa, enough already!” I was sick of caring after Day 3. I don’t care that his ship is still docked. I don’t care that he’s losing endorsements. I mean, we’re talking about a golf player here. It’s not like it’s a football player or anyone important. Just kidding. Kind of.
6. Lindsay Lohan – Poor Lindsay. She’s the butt of every joke, so much so that it’s kind of a right of passage to put her on any list like this. From her shiteous TV movie “Labor Pains” that was supposed to be released on the big screen, to her disastrous attempt at working as a fashion designer with the Ungaro collection, all signs are pointing to “FAIL.” Why would I want to wear anything Lindsay Lohan designs when she looks like a coked up addict all the time?
5. Speidi – Oh my God, if I ever saw Spencer Pratt on the street I think I’d hit him. And I’m not even lying. His blondeness scares me, especially when he rocks that God awful beard thing. And Heidi Montag-Pratt, who was once so sweet, has turned into a legitimate moron. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed someone so stupid. Ever. But I think Heidi is a product of “Cruise Syndrome,” where her husband controls everything about her a la Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. The only reason they’re only # 5 is because Spencer is frickin hilarious on “The Hills.” He may be a huge asshole, but at least he’s a funny asshole. But I also can’t help but side with Spencer with wanting to get a vasectomy. Maybe what the Mayans predicted in 2012 was the spawn of Speidi, because I’m pretty sure everyone in Hollywood would run for the hills. No pun intended.
4. Jon Gosselin – He really REALLY pisses me off. I don’t know if it’s those huge cubic zirconia’s he’s wearing in his ears or that he’s still wearing Ed Hardy t-shirts, but holy shit is this father of eight annoying! He suddenly shuts down production on his show when TLC decided they wouldn’t feature him as often and he’s constantly roaming around places like Las Vegas and Los Angeles with a flock of girls surrounding him. Hasn’t he learned to keep it in his pants eight kids ago? And get off of my TV screen and go support the football team you have at home, you jackass.
3. Rihanna – I’m sick of people sticking up for Rihanna because Chris Brown hit her. Didn’t she throw the first punch anyway? Okay, I’m not promoting or condoning domestic violence, but it seems to me that RiRi is making a buck off of this bullshit. And she finally decides to go on “20/20” to talk about the incident the week her craptastic album is released? Coincidence? Don’t think so. But the real problem is the fact that she’s not even talented. This chick can’t sing, I mean really. And her songs are equally awful. But it’s like “Ohhh, because she’s BFF with Jay-Z and Kanye she must be the next Great One.” Nah. Stop shoving her in my face. And there’s nothing I hate more than when people try so hard to be different. Stop with the hair changing and absurd clothing choices. No one’s buying your shtick.
2. Kristen Stewart – Why is she an actress? Seriously. Kristen Stewart is the most ungrateful witch in the industry, and I’m being nice. She has zero personality, has the most obnoxious, monotone voice, and can only crack a smile when Rob Pattinson is around (who’s fug too, by the way). “Twilight” is crap, plain and simple. The books were so-so to begin with, and now Twi-hards are going buck wild over this chick as Bella in a bunch of films that suck. And I swear, if she bites her lip one more time, in one more movie role, I’m going to write to someone.
1. Taylor Swift – Some may agree with me on this. Or I may lose friends over this choice for the #1 Most Annoying Celebrity, but I stand by my decision. Ugh, Taylor Swift. I give her props for being a decent songwriter at the tender age of 20. Her songs are catchy and pretty well written, but she can’t perform live for shit. She’s pitchy and never on key most of the time, so the fact that she’s winning these Entertainer of the Year awards and being nominated for Best Female Performer of the Year is enough to make me wanna vom. And she’s everywhere. EVERYWHERE! On TV, magazines, the internet. Stop crying over boys in your songs and start writing about something more meaningful… like how long it takes to straighten your hair and that’s why you always wear it curly like a five-year-old. And what makes me even more mad is that people like her because she’s the “anti-Miley.” At least Miley sluts it up once in a while. I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t have a wild side at 20-years-old.